Happy Mom Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers! Some mothers neglect their children for drugs and prostitution while others don’t. Kudos to mothers everywhere, even crack mothers!

On mother’s day, Anna wanted to take the kids to church and visit the priest that married us. We got to the church with all three kids and headed straight for the crying room. Apparently Catholic churches have crying rooms. I imagined it to be a big room with a bunch of kids running around along with a bunch of parents crying that they didn’t use birth control. It wasn’t like that at all.

It was a small room with five pews and a big glass window where you could watch the service. Xavier cried the moment we arrived. After about 15 minutes Stella kept saying “all done”, “all done” , “all done”……meaning, she was done and wanted to leave. Ffi slept through everything.

Some of the other people seemed annoyed that our kids were getting a little loud so I threw a Bible at them. If you don’t like crying kids then don’t come to the crying room?!?! I mean it’s the crying room. The room is where there is crying. Crying is what this room was made for. If someone is crying, this is the room they go to.

Things got out of control when an old lady took it upon herself to meander into the crying room. I explained to her that this was the “crying” room not the “dying” room. The dying room is outside, it’s called the intersection.

When the priest finally saw us on the way out he made some joke about Anna and I being more Catholic than we thought because we have three kids. Little does he know, we used a non-Church sanctioned infertility treatment to get the first two.


During a nap last week, the lady that raises our kids heard a big bang from their room. She ran in to find Xavier on the floor. He had climbed out of his crib for the first time. He looked at the nanny, pointed to his butt and said, “Boo Boo” then he pointed to the cribs and said, “Boom” and then started laughing. He hasn’t attempted that stunt again.

Stella and Xavier can not say, “Fiona” they call their sister “Fifi’ and squint their noses when they say it. Fifi is by far the easiest of our children right now, mostly because she can’t move around. It’s like taking care of an old person except that with old people you can put them in a rocking chair and leave for the day. You don’t have to return for another 24 hours. I need to get a job at a nursing home. It would be so easy.

We tried to get a Mother's Day picture but it didn't come out so wonderful. Anna looks great and our children, well, two of them need haircuts.


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