Dog Whisperer

This weekend we had friends staying with us from Ohio. One of them is a famous blogger named Mrs. American Family.

Mrs. American Family is a HUGE fan of the show Dog Whisperer. It’s like someone just shoved happy pills up her butt whenever someone mentions this show.

I’ve never watched it. Honestly, I thought it was about an animal psychic that spoke to dogs. I think I confused it with the Jennifer Love Hewitt’s show Ghost Whisperer where she speaks to dead people and wears all black to look thinner.

From what I’ve been told, I’d say The Dog Whisperer is kinda like a Dr. Phil for dogs. He has people bring on their rabid blood thirsty pit bull or whatever that just ate a new born baby and teaches the dog to submit and not eat anymore children. Everyone is all happy that the dog is no longer a mass murderer that they smoke pot and dance around to some new age Native American music.

Mrs. AmFam is convinced that the techniques used on Dog Whisperer can be applied to child rearing. She taught me that children and parents engage in a constant struggle for dominance. Children manifest this dominance by barking at their parents or peeing on them. To regain control over the child, the parent uses their hand like the jaw of a dog, grabs the child by the throat and presses them to the ground. If the child tries to bite you it gets sent back to the pet store.

I can totally do this. I know I’m stronger than a little kid.



supergrrl7 said…
You THINK you are stronger than a little kid, because you don't have one yet. One look at those doe eyes and your resolve will crumble.

Successful parenthood is really about keeping it secret that the children are really in charge. If you make it till college, you are successful.

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