Three is 4 minus 2 plus 1 plus 0


Anna ovulated a few months ago and someone’s sperm fertilized the egg that fell out of her ovary. When I say “someone” I mean me. The embryo implanted and now Anna is pregnant with a baby. This time the pregnancy was not via IVF rather penis/vagina intercourse.

Stella and Xavier don’t understand so I’m writing a musical about where babies come from using Stella’s blonde doll and Xavier blue teddy bear. When I finish sewing a uterus and vagina into the blonde doll she will give birth to a little car. It’s the best I can do under the circumstances.

A plastic bag covered with Vaseline will fill in for the placenta making the musical more realistic.

I’m hammering out the lyrics to the birthing song but so far the chorus goes like this, “pump it, pump it out, pump out the baby, just pump it....pop, eeew, that was gross!"

Comments

kim said…
Holy crap!!! Congrats!!!!!!!!
Mrs M@sk said…
Yikes, congratulations!
Kate said…
Hooray for penis/vagina intercourse!!!! Congratulations!
Michelle Cooper said…
mazel tov! does this mean Anna won't be able to get sloppy drunk at our wedding and kick people while doing circle dances like I did at yours? She has to kick people while sober! Ooopah!
Kerry Lynn said…
Oh my freaking god. It should be illegal to be this funny.

Congratulations although I don't envy you one bit :-)