You get what for a million?

The real estate prices in our neighborhood in Queens, NYC have really gotten trumped up crazy in the last 5 years. Our area is really great though and it's like it was just recovered after many decades; trains and buses to Manhattan, a large park, top restaurants, easy access to the airport and a short drive to the beach.

No one can afford Manhattan or Brooklyn anymore so the next step is to push everyone out of Queens. What this means for us is richer neighbors.

Since child labor was legal it has been my dream to live surrounded by rich people.  We will spend hours discussing how we found the cutest little porcelain bowl to tie the entire living room together. Our life is fulfilled.

Sellers here put less than zero the 1980s movie effort into making their homes look presentable.  In fact, it appears many go out of there way to make things look worse (like being fat then growing a mustache).


This townhouse in the middle is on the market for $970,000. The neighbor to the left did a great job ruining their house with stucco.



For $970k you get this kitchen living room with so much character.

Is there a cocktail table pushed up against the kitchen wall and a bench used as the second cocktail table?

I think the TV might be sitting on a third cocktail table.

This family loves cocktail tables.





If we hang this sheet over the bed no one will realize there is a curtain for a door and and a suitcase for a dresser and a bath mat for a rug.




LOVE, LOVE, LOVE nothing about this bathroom. Just no.





Many years ago, someone should have preemptively abortioned the person that came up with the chrome shelving idea.

I knew a lot of people in collage who had these shelves in their kitchen. I guess they all live here now.






"Today in my office,  I will be working on this roll of paper towels and this 1950's suitcase". 




BUT wait. Why pay top dollar for crap when you can pay more to get something that is still not that nice.

How about paying a little more for something just as small but nicer for $1.300,000


A new brick facade was slapped on this baby. This looks like what the back of a house should look like, but it's the front of the house!..........is what someone said while making out with a transsexual..........it was me who said that.





This house has a great staircase by the way.  The bar is very low. If the staircase is the only nice part of the house them I'm ok with that. Love the paneled doors.

The fact that there is a staircase almost guarantees  there is an upstairs.




If this was my bedroom I would use it to slit my wrist.



Stretch your legs and touch the railing on your new balcony.




I give them points for cleaning the bathroom but have to deduct points for leaving the mop in the shower.

This bathroom looks like someone went to the granite over-run store and used all the extra slabs on the walls.





Nice angles in this room and skylight. But for $1.3m couldn't they at least stage the bed with a cover. That door exits to your death.





 Your tiny $1.3 million dollar kitchen.



This room is as empty as when dad left.




Luckily we do not rent, because my god with a small 'g' those places cost as much as a mortgage but you don't get to keep them.




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