Night Wetting

We are trying to get the twins to sleep through the night without wearing pull-ups /diapers.

Stella was excited about this for maybe two seconds. Then, after wetting her bed a few time, she acted as if we traumatized her, “I’m not ready. I’m not ready. You all made a mistake. We have to wait until I’m five”. This is rare for her. She’s usually first one ready to take the next grown-up step

To spite us, she took it upon herself to find the last few pull-ups around the house and change into them right before going to bed.

Xavier, on the other the hand, doesn’t care about peeing himself like a homeless person.

He’ll wet his bed during the night, get up, change his clothes and then come downstairs in the morning wearing a horribly mismatched outfit.

This seemed like a perfect situation until I found a pile of urine soaked pajamas in his nightstand. It was in the back of my mind that I had not seen his dirty clothes in a while. But, quite frankly, I was too busy fighting crime as my secret alter ego, “Awesome Man”. My super power is being awesome.

At 3:00am Monday, I heard Xavier calling out. I went into his room to check on him. He refused tell me what was wrong. I did notice his sheets were wet so I put him on the floor and started changing his pajama bottoms. Poo squeezed out all over my hands and onto the floor.

That’s right Shirley, he had poo-ed in his pants. He has not had an accident like this in a year. Anna heard us causing a commotion and got the motion to start cleaning the rug while I carried him to the first floor.

I thought I could grab some wet wipes from the closet and clean him off, until I noticed he had poo up and down his entire back and all over his legs. I waded up his clothes and threw them out the back door before putting him in the bathtub.

Giving a kid a bath at 3:00am is really annoying. Sitting next to someone talking on their cell phone is even more annoying.

His room smelled like feces for days. Being a nurse must suck. I could never be a nurse because all the doctors would sexually harass me. I would pretend to like it for a little bit until I gathered enough evidence to sue their fucking asses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Stella was proud of herself for changing into her pajamas and putting her
clothe away. I latter found her purple dress in the pantry.

We went strawberry picking last weekend.
The kids loved it.  I don't get the point when there
are machine to do this.


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