The world came crashing down this week if I exaggerate a little.

We’ve had a serious blow to our utopia here this week. The Nanny’s father died, and the worst part is, she went to Poland for a week to attend the funeral. Are you sitting down? There’s more.

We don’t have a Nanny for an entire week.

But wait, there’s more. Her father died on Thursday but her sisters didn’t tell her that he died until the following day! But wait, there’s more. He died after having open heart surgery and her family never told her he was getting surgery!!!!!. But wait, there’s more. I didn’t even KNOW HER FATHER WAS STLL ALIVE!!!!!!! But wait, there’s more. I’m totally don’t have anything more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mom came to watch the kids this week while The Nanny attends the funeral or interviews for a new job and this elaborate story was all made up as a smoke screen for her true intentions.

New TV pitch idea: By day, she looks like a normal Nanny with a dead end career, but when the kids go down for naps, she’s fighting crime in a cat suit with her boob implants hanging out. She also experiments sexually with women.

The Nanny flew out on an airplane the Friday before Father Day Weekend (of last week). Father’s Day used to be only one day a year but it’s been moved up to an entire weekend. I took off from work that Friday to watch the kids because no one else wanted do it.

FYI, people are now allowed to go back and forth to Poland after the communism stuff ended.

Are you following this timeline because it’s really important to my story that is going nowhere?

Then, on Saturday, Anna went in to work and I took the kids to the aquarium. By the end of the day, I had had enough of our children and wanted Father’s Weekend to be over.

As my father’s day gift, Anna took the kids Saturday evening to her parent’s “vacation” cabin, to visit her parents, sister and brother in-law; aka her sister’s husband.. I was free Saturday night and Sunday!! I ate a bowl of cereal for dinner then went to bed.

Sunday, I woke up at 7:00am instead of my regular 5:00am. I mowed the lawn, did the grocery shopping, washed all the kids’ sheets, did the laundry and went to a yoga class.

After all that, it was only 11:30am!! But wait, there’s more. It’s never as exciting having the house to myself as I think it’s going to be. I get so used to the constant action of Anna and our little kids that when they’re gone I miss them. They all returned around six on Sunday.

The girls picked out little plants for my office and Xavier got me a bag of plastic dinosaurs that I think he got for himself because he took them back.

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