I hope you all voted not really, let's talk about me

I was in the gym last week being awesome and this happened. Prepare yourselves. It involves something similar to sexual harassment if you redefine the term completely.

First, let me back up the train and go over my workout routine with y’all because it will unnecessarily bring nothing to this story which is like your entire life.

Monday through Friday I do an hour of high intensity yoga at five in the morning. Saturday and Sunday mornings I do a 2.5 mile run. Then, twice a week, I go to the gym during the day for about 15 minutes of dips and pull ups. Lastly, I may go to one Yoga class Wednesday afternoons.

Sooooooooo, I don’t do weights at all…..dum, dum, dum…..except for last week.

When I was finished with my pull-ups I decided to sit on the resistance machine and do some butterflies to see what it was like. I’m all about trying new things if it doesn’t involve genocide.

While fumbling with the machine, trying to figure out how much weight I should use, this muscle guy, with a body fat percentage that was a smidge too high, walked over,

“You don’t want to use this machine for flies. You want to use that one”. (He points to a similar machine which required me to stand instead of sit)

“It will give you a better stretch across the chest. Let me show you”.

We walk over to the machine and he gives me the hand thingies.

“Stand like this, chest up, slow and steady, bring your hands together”

(I start doing some reps)

“Go slow. You don’t want to be stronger, right?
You want to be bigger. You need a bigger chest….more definition. Right?
You want to feel it here and here”

(Rubs back of hand across my pecs) 
"See ya man"  (walks away)

Okay. What the fuck just happened?

Was he saying my chest was strong enough? Was he saying strength doesn't matter when you need more size? Was he saying, having more definition in the chest would make my chest bigger? Why was he so obsessed with me. Who was he? Who am I? Who are you?


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