Decorating to destroy property values

Well, I think there can be no more evidence that my neighbors are trying to destroy me with poor design decisions. You can catch up here on past events that have hurt me more than high school poetry contests. --> The front lawn part two capital i's and Decorating so that no one likes you

I would feel bad for myself if I got caught writing gossip like this because they are nice people.
Even nice people though, need to use Pinterest before making design decisions.

Well, after coming back from our rich person vacation in Cape Code, we found this front door on our neighbor's house.

It was once white. It is now gray with red detailing. I'm royally confused with the thought process that turned into this. Is Nautica clothing designing front doors now?


I would have spray painted the storm door black and then painted the door some color. One SINGLE color. A red and darker blue? Anything. Please.



Why? I'm so confused. 



And, apparently the fiber optic seeds that were planted sprouted into fiber optic little plants along the walk way. I'm again confused with the lover affair with glow in the dark fake plants.

Whenever I want to make something look good (including my face which doesn't need any extra help) I do a lot of research online.

I google for example, "small dark bedroom design ideas". Then, I find a picture that looks great and I copy it as much as I can. I almost always copy the paint color. 

Listen, I'm not trying to win an originality wars even though I won the war of life. Aren't we all winners? No we aren't. Some of you suck.

So I searched, "small yard"," too much sun" and got this picture. That's it! Duplicate this picture. The yard is small so the grass is a pointless nuisance. Rip it out. Get cheap stones, pebbles , mulch , bird bath and plants at home depot. Then lay them out like this god damn picture! DO NOT THINK. COPY THE PICTURE.  Do you want round stones instead of rectangular? Well go fuck yourself. COPY THE PICTURE. That is the only rule you need to follow.



If there are any take-ways from this post they are:

1) My face doesn't need any help
2) Some people are losers
3) When designing anything, just find a picture on the internet and copy it.

The internet was made to steal from each other. That's why it's there.

Comments

anna said…
Only correction I would add here is that the neighbors are actually NOT nice people unless you believe that nice is the same thing as Greek, which it is NOT.