Six diseases that the flu shot won't do anything about because the government is stupid.

The kids have this virus thingamagig called roseola also known as sixth disease also known as exanthem subitum also known as roseola infantum also known as that’s it I couldn’t find anymore names.

And yes, they got the flu shot. Apparently the flu shot only works against the flu which is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

The symptoms start with a cranky baby, then a fever, and then a rash that covers their entire little body. Kinda like that rash everyone gets in college from having too many sexual partners in one night. Five is too many.

Stella and Xavier have been up at all hours of the night for a week now because of this virus.

Why can’t you give babies alcohol to sleep? That wasn’t a rhetorical question. Contact me if you know why because I’m about to give each of them a shot of apple pucker in their next bottle.

Yes, I said apple pucker. It’s cheap and they can’t appreciate the good stuff yet. The only time I ever drank pucker is when my friend got married and all the bridesmaids drank it. The one bridesmaid is now a stripper and the other one I won’t say because it is too personal but she is a homeless meth addict.

See what this has come to?
These viral infested babies need to start sleeping people.