If You give me one of these gifts I will kill you

Since it’s the gift giving season, I decided to do you all a favor and list the worst gifts ever. Thank me later with cash.

When I say “worst gifts ever” I don’t mean wrapping up dog poo and sticking it in the mail box of some kid who lived down the street from you during high school.

These are gifts that say, “I was obligated to buy you something and gave up trying.”


Scented Candles


Oh hurray. Finally, the scented candle I’ve been waiting for my whole life.

This is such a filler gift it practically insults someone for breathing. “I don’t have time for you. Here’s a candle. It was the closest thing to the cash register”.



Bath and Body Wash Crap


Someone decided to buy salt from the salt market, spray it with perfume, put it in a little bag and call it “scented bath salts”, then charge $50 for it.. To sweeten the deal, they threw in some soap and a sponge.

Wow, stop the presses, not soap and a sponge. Those aren’t two things we see very often. On top of that the whole setup comes in a basket. Great gift, you get an A+++. Here mom, a basket with soap, a sponge and salt. Wasn’t I worth it?

Our first nanny actually did buy me Old Spice body wash for Christmas one year.

Given a choice between an overpriced body wash that is no better than a cheap body wash, Nanny #1 made the smarter choice before getting deported. We miss you!...kind of.



Picture Frames

I’m not completely against picture frames since the glass can be used to do cocaine.



Tea and Coffee

F-ing moronic. Oh yeah, tea. You just bought someone groceries and are expecting them to be excited about it. What’s the difference between this and wrapping up a box of cereal? Nothing!



Coming soon….”Christmas tree ornaments do not count as presents. “

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