Old people tell stories like this but it's about them.

Yesterday while I was waiting for Anna to get home from work, Stella decided to stand in the middle of the kitchen and pass her bowels.

It all started when I noticed her gripping the side of the oven and straining. I told her we needed to go to the toilet (she is in the beginning phases of potty training and was not wearing a diaper.). She adamantly refused, opting for the homeless person method.

Stella can go days without pooing; 4 days is her world record. She also talks about becoming a ballerina so I guess not pooing will come in handy when she has an eating disorder.

After much effort she finished, and Praise the Holy Father Lord, Anna came home.

While Anna was changing her I ran into the bathroom with Stella’s disgusting underwear and threw the poo into the toilet and flushed it.

Nothing happened.

Her giant poo got stuck in the opening of the toilet drain.

I watched the water rise up little by little until it stopped at the very edge of the toilet bowl. I’m sure obese people are used to this happening but I’m not. How can a 2.5 year old clog up a toilet?

I got the plunger, plunged the toilet and the water finally drained.
Without a doubt this was the worst experience of my entire life for that hour.

But, I decided to turn the beat around and come up with a new invention; “The Toilet Disposal”. It works just like a disposal for the kitchen sink except for the toilet. If I had one of these yesterday a lot of lives could have been saved.

Do you see how I turned a traumatic life experience into lemonade? That’s what homeless people need to do. This holiday, if you find yourself homeless, living in a box, think “outside the box.” That box you’re sleeping in could be used as a “rickshaw” sled to pull people around town for money.


Here she is in action.

Comments

Kerry Lynn said…
that is pure genius!