The Direct Vent Gas Burning Fireplace that will take you down

We’re getting a fireplace installed in our living room, finally. I hate not having a fireplace more than I hate Hitler.

It’s so embarrassing welcoming people into our home and the first thing they see is a pile of pornos and then a wall without a fireplace. It’s flat and boring like this stripper from Indiana.

If we lived somewhere warm I’d still have a fireplace. My favorite part of a fireplace is the mantel. I love mantels. I love putting things on mantels. I love looking at mantels. I love hanging pictures over mantels. I love touching mantels. Being next to a mantel is the closest I’ve ever been to God.

This is a picture of the fireplace screen and “insert” we are getting.

This is just a picture from the website so ignore the stone work and focus on the black screen. It’s a gas model with a remote control starter.

Gas models that don’t require a chimney (we don’t have a chimney) have glass over the front and look really fake. But this model has a pair of screen doors attached over the glass making it look like a real, wood-burning fireplace. I know, you thought it wasn't possible but it is!

I can’t believe this is finally happening. Please think of all the less fortunate people in the world that don’t have fireplaces or access to clean drinking water.