Mother's Day, Half Marathon Training and why John Travolta is still gay

Happy Mother's Day all you mothers!!!

 The kids got Anna this wonderful cake for Mother's Day.
It says, "Happy Mother's Day" and there is a hole
where Stella stuck her finger in it.


Happy first Mother's Day to our friend Kate who adopted 
little baby Delilah a few weeks ago

I can’t keep track of what’s going on in our lives with all these masseuses suing John Travolta and gay people destroying marriage only months after Kim Kardashian had a shot at it.

We do have a few things on the horizon before God punishes America for losing it’s moral compass and Google has to auto-drive us out of here.

I’ll put them in list form so stupid people can understand since that is my demographic. There’s only one thing on my list right now.

1) Anna is on her last two months of training for “The Chicago Women’s Half Marathon”, ‘cuz bitch crazy.

By the end of this race, they’ll all be in cliques gossiping about the other women they hate while leaving a trail of chocolate ice-cream down the race track. I’ve watched the Lifetime Network!





We got this triplet-running stroller so we can all run together. It’s three kids wide and about four John Travolta penises long. Over the last few weekends, we’ve taken the kids out on one hour runs.

They do great up until the last 15-20 minutes.

“We want to get out”

“We’re almost there. If you’re good, you’ll get chocolate”.

“Let us walk”

“The ice-cream store is a little farther”

“STOP RUNNING!!!! LET US OUT!! LET US OUT!!”

“Shut up you Little Fuckers”


Today, Mother's Day, we're going to brunch then Anna and I are getting a babysitter for the kids and running two hours north to the suburbs to get dinner, then taking the bus back home. That might sound crazy to some people because some people suffer from mental illness. Remember, don’t suffer in silence and don’t get on public transportation and starting talking to yourself.

Find another mentally ill person to hang out with so the rest of us don’t have to listen to your crazy babble.



This blog has really hit the gutter.

Comments

That was a nice posts for all mothers. Great marathon training, good luck. Great job well done, Congratulations !