A table is not just for having sex on

It finally happened. I’m officially a woman as I sit here excited to write about our new table.

Like many writers, it is difficult not ending a sentence with a preposition, and finding new things to write about. I don’t consider myself a writer per se; more a person that types stuff on a computer and posts it online.

Ok, back to the taaabbbllllleee.

After a long sob fest by Anna about needing a new table, we finally retired our kid table for a full sized person table. The kids were constantly kicking the crap out of each other whenever one kid’s crayons got on the other kid’s Play-Do. Yes, this is our life.

It took a little bit to find something we liked. First, it had to fit six people. We’re a family of five and they don’t really sell tables for five that would be stupid.

Secondly. It couldn’t cost the same as a weekend with a call girl.

I have a friend who we’ll call Albert because that’s his name who went to a college we’ll call Stanford who knew a classmate that worked weekends as a high-price call girl Apparently she would get flown around the world for weekends with rich men. Now there’s someone that could afford a lot of tables. I bet some of these guys did her on a table.

The next step is getting rid of the beige walls, blah..hate beige.

We found this table at a furniture store that has cheap prices because they buy in bulk. It’s a solid wood and has a really nice rustic look to it but still modern. We hated the chairs that came with it and got these white ones from CB2.


Look at that nice hard wood.

I’m all about Scandinavian and Italian furniture. I could tell you anywhere in the entire fucking city where to get modern Scandinavian or Italian furniture. I know nothing about American Football or cars or beer or being a fat slob, but furniture; I know a lot about it. It’s my special gift from God I mean biology.

Now, since having kids four years ago, we can all sit together to eat dinner. The nanny stands in the corner. The sixth chair is for family only!


Michelle Cooper said…
George - LOVE the table! Hope you're doing better - sorry to read about your back issues. You should try wearing one of those weightlifting belts. A WWF one if possible. Might help! (really though - what a drag!)
An Urban Story said…

Thanks Michelle!! I don't think the belt will help since the problem behind my neck butit sure would look good.

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